(Note: the blue horizontal menu bar directly above lists the subsections of "Addiction and Anxiety." Be sure to read each of these subsections before moving on to the next primary section of this report, "A Faith Issue?")

Addiction and Anxiety

One of the interesting aspects of the relationship between addiction and anxiety is that anxiety can contribute to addiction. Addiction can mask pain for a while, but sooner or later, as Nakken notes, addiction starts to create pain, the very thing the person is trying to avoid. In creating pain, the process also creates a need for the continuation of the addictive relationship. The addict seeks refuge from the pain of addiction by moving further into the addictive process.¹²

This dynamic is seen in highly anxious congregations that have unhealthy reactive patterns of conflict. After discovering that fusing with those who are willing to take control of their anxiety eases their own anxiety, clusters of these anxious individuals join together in unhealthy anxiety-based relationship groups. As anxious individuals participate in these groups, they feel that their anxieties are lessened. But they are not. They are merely masked under a heightened level of addiction-based and anxious "Band-Aid"^™ relationships.

Those to whom anxious individuals give their control are also anxious. Instead of directing their energies inward to develop healthy ways to deal with their own anxiety, these anxious individuals often direct their energies outward by manipulating and controlling others and their environment.

What is the result? Both groups get what they want—namely, a mechanism by which they can have their anxiety controlled, even if by unhealthy means. Frequently, anxious individuals use fusing with others as a defense mechanism against their fear. In other words, they avoid the fear of things going out of control by fusing with those who are more than willing to take control and responsibility for them. This is one of the roots of codependency. By allowing others to fuse with them, those in control also gain a powerful defense mechanism. By exerting power, they keep individuals distanced from them. The greater their need for control, the more they will seek emotional isolation from others.

This dynamic describes numerous congregational dynamics. It describes, for instance, how—and why—so-called antagonists often express such extreme needs for power and control. Those needs are rooted in their fear. It also describes why trying to shift the unhealthy equilibrium away from a historically entrenched antagonist is such a precarious proposition. When one threatens, withholds, or destroys a person’s unhealthy defense mechanisms, that individual will likely react in very intense, visible ways.

When an antagonist steeped in anxious, addictive behaviors is confronted, a multitude of other events may also be triggered. One thing that is likely to happen is that anxiety will be triggered in both the antagonist and those who are fused to the antagonist. That’s why confronting an antagonist seldom is a one-on-one venture. When an antagonist is disturbed, all those who depend on that person to ease their anxieties are also disturbed, and the hornets’ nest that results can be overwhelming.

In some cases, this anxiety-based fusion may also describe how some pastors are able to draw crowds and grow congregations. This fusion may be expressed as a type of charisma, preacher worship, blind allegiance, or out-and-out brainwashing and mind control. For this reason, family systems theory may suggest the reality that church growth and health are not faith issues per se. Instead, they are issues of interpersonal bonding between two parties. If they ease each other’s anxieties by filling their needs for anxiety management, a bond is formed, charisma is born…and emotional loyalty ensues.

12. Nakken, 29.