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The discomfort with conflict can lead to congregational stagnation. These resources can provide your congregation with insights and practices to help people avoid blame, practice forgiveness, understand conflict management styles, and respond effectively to difficult behavior.
CONGREGATIONAL VITALITY : Conflict
  Behavioral Covenants in Congregations: A Handbook for Honoring Differences (Book)
Gilbert R. Rendle, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 1999.
Because congregations sometimes engage in the same mean-spirited behaviors that plague public life, Behavioral Covenants in Congregations offers congregations an approach to managing their differences with maturity and respect.
Church Conflict: From Contention to Collaboration (Book)
Norma C. Everist, Author.
Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2004.
Norma Cook Everist proposes a collaborative approach to dealing with conflict, suggesting that working together in this way is both a strategy and an environment.
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Book)
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Authors.
New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1999.
Difficult Conversations offers an approach to those often conflict-ridden conversations we find most painful and tend to avoid. In such conversations, the stakes are high, we feel strong emotions, or our self-esteem is shaky.
Discover Your Conflict Management Style (Book)
Speed B. Leas, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 1997.
This book presents descriptions of six conflict management styles, expert advice concerning their application, and a self-assessment tool to help readers discover their own dominant conflict management style(s).
Getting to Resolution: Turning Conflict into Collaboration (Second Edition) (Book)
Stewart Levine, Author.
San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2009.
Management consultant Stewart Levine offers a seven-step process for achieving win-win outcomes in conflict situations. He also explores the costs of conflict and describes ten principles necessary to achieve true conflict resolution.
Managing Polarities in Congregations: Eight Keys for Thriving Faith Communities (Book)
Roy M. Oswald, Barry Johnson, Authors.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2009.
Through stories and illustrations, the authors explore positive and negative aspects of each pole in eight polarities common to congregations, how to recognize when imbalance occurs between poles, and the steps needed to correct the imbalance.
Never Call Them Jerks: Healthy Responses to Difficult Behavior (Book)
Arthur Paul Boers, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 1999.
This book explores how difficult behaviors can be transformed into opportunities for redemptive ministry. Self-awareness, an understanding of root causes, and consideration of how the behavior fits into the larger system of interaction are emphasized.
Our Community: Dealing with Conflict in Our Congregation (Book)
Susan M. Lang, Author.
Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress Press, 2002.
Our Community focuses on the roots, perceptions, and experiences of conflict. Author and pastor Susan Lang explores how conflict can develop and grow in family and congregational systems.
Promise and Peril: Understanding and Managing Change and Conflict in Congregations (Book)
David R. Brubaker, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2009.
Drawing on the results of a 2005 survey, David Brubaker explains the changes in congregational structure and culture that lead to conflict. He also helps leaders to manage conflict—and themselves—in the face of change.
Staying with Conflict: A Strategic Approach to Ongoing Disputes (Book)
Bernard Mayer, Author.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2009.
This book shows how, in the case of long-term disputes, it is more helpful to help prepare the disputing parties to engage constructively with their differences over an extended period of time rather than focus on resolving the conflict quickly.
 Angry People in the Pews: Managing Anger in the Church (Book)
Leroy Howe, Author.
Valley Forge, PA: Judson Press, 2001.
Angry People in the Pews provides resources that enable caregivers both to deal more effectively with their own anger and to help angry people.
Beyond Blame: A New Way of Resolving Conflicts in Relationships (Book)
Jeffrey Kottler, Author.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1994.
Combining theoretical insights with practical strategies, Beyond Blame encourages us to take responsibility for our own roles in conflicts and to think and act in more productive ways.
Church Conflict: The Hidden Systems Behind the Fights (Book)
Charles H. Cosgrove, Dennis D. Hatfield, Authors.
Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1994.
Applying family systems theory to the local church, Church Conflict helps conflict-ridden congregations to heal and mature by changing the way they understand themselves as God’s family.
Conflict Management in Congregations (Book)
David B. Lott, Editor.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2001.
In Conflict Management in Congregations, editor David Lott gathers the experience of more than a dozen authorities on church conflict.
Conflict Mediation Across Cultures: Pathways and Patterns (Book)
David W. Augsburger, Author.
Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1992.
This thoroughly researched presentation surveys ways of conflict resolution in many cultures.
Congregational Fitness: Healthy Practices for Layfolk (Book)
Denise W. Goodman, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2000.
Congregational Fitness: Healthy Practices for Layfolk focuses on multiple resources for lay people who are addressing church conflicts or seeking to avoid destructive conflicts in the future.
Congregations in Conflict: Cultural Models of Local Religious Life (Book)
Penny Edgell Becker, Author.
New York, NY: Cambridge University Press, 1999.
Penny Edgell Becker explains the types of conflict found in each of four congregational models: house of worship, family, community, and leader.
Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior (Book)
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Authors.
New York, NY: McGraw Hill, 2005.
This book offers guidance for anyone who has wondered what to do in the face of violated trust or other disappointing behaviors. The authors explain the steps for having a dialogue that resolves problems and restores relationships.
Difficult Conversations: Taking Risks, Acting with Integrity (Book)
Katie Day, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2001.
Author Katie Day shows how congregations can move beyond superficiality to spiritual growth and action by being willing to initiate, cultivate, and sustain "difficult conversations" on controversial issues.
The Faces of Forgiveness: Searching for Wholeness and Salvation (Book)
F. LeRon Shults, Steven J. Sandage, Authors.
Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 2003.
A psychologist and theologian partner to create an interdisciplinary study of forgiveness and the human search for salvation which focuses upon face: saving face, facing issues, seeing another’s face, reading faces, the divine face.
Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Moral Courage: Motives and Designs for Ministry in a Troubled World (Book)
Robert L. Browning, Roy A. Reed, Authors.
Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2004.
Robert Browning and Roy Reed explore forgiveness, reconciliation, and such moral concepts as compassion, integrity, justice, and mercy from various perspectives. They challenge the churches to model and teach forgiveness and reconciliation.
From Stuck to Unstuck: Overcoming Congregational Impasse (Book)
Kenneth A. Halstead, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 1998.
Drawing on his experience as a pastor and counselor, author Kenneth Halstead suggests that systems theory concepts and brief therapy interventions may help to resolve congregational impasses.
Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation (Book)
William L. Ury, Author.
New York, NY: Bantam Doubleday, 1993.
Getting Past No is a guide to transforming relationships by negotiating one's relational problems from a posture of cooperation rather than confrontation.
Getting to Amen: Eight Strategies for Managing Conflict in the African American Church (Book)
Lora-Ellen McKinney, Author.
Valley Forge, PA: Judson Press, 2005.
This book explores how conflict management strategies can be applied in the African American church, helping church members and leaders communicate in a healthy manner on such contentious issues as homosexuality and women in church leadership.
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (Book)
Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, Bruce Patton, Authors.
New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1991.
Getting to Yes is based on answering a common question: what is the best way for people to deal with their differences? It suggests a process of "principled negotiation, " or looking for mutual gains whenever possible.
 How to Turn ANY Disagreement into a Nasty Fight at Your Congregation (Article)
Ian S. Evison, Author.
2005.
In an ironic tone, Ian Evison advises readers on how to create nasty fights out of virtually any disagreement. Here is a concise, humorous, and profound reflection on what adds fuel to the fire of congregational conflicts.
Insights into Congregational Conflict (Article)
Confirming that congregational conflict is widespread, "Insights into Congregational Conflict" focuses on a range of related issues: the use of money, norms of behavior, forms of worship, leadership styles, and decision-making processes.
The Little Book of Cool Tools for Hot Topics: Group Tools to Facilitate Meetings When Things Are Hot (Book)
Ronald S. Kraybill, Evelyn Wright, Authors.
Intercourse, PA: Good Books, 2005.
Beginning with the premise that "conflict is natural, normal, and recurrent in community life," Ron Kraybill and Evelyn Wright offer tools for facilitating each stage of small and large group discussion in conflicted situations.
The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects: A Practical, Hands-On Guide (Book)
Lisa Schirch, David Campt, Authors.
Intercourse, PA: Good Books, 2007.
Lisa Schirch and David Campt offer a step-by-step process for organizing, designing, facilitating, and assessing the effectiveness of dialogue on controversial issues. They discuss when dialogue is useful, how it works, and how to sustain it.
 Lombard Mennonite Peace Center (Organization)
The Lombard Mennonite Peace Center is a nonprofit ministry dedicated to conflict resolution and relationship building in private and public arenas: homes, workplaces, churches, and schools.
Managing Church Conflict (Book)
Hugh F. Halverstadt, Author.
Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1991.
Author Hugh Halverstadt advances an ethical process of conflict resolution by showing how respectfulness, assertiveness, accountability, and a focus on the common good can work in contentious situations.
Moving Your Church through Conflict (Book)
Speed B. Leas, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 1996.
This book step-by-step approach to conflict management will help congregational leaders identify various levels of congregational conflict and respond to conflict in healthy and productive ways.
Narrative Mediation: A New Approach to Conflict Resolution (Book)
John Winslade, Gerald Monk, Authors.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2000.
John Winslade and Gerald Monk explain narrative mediation as a relational, story-based approach to conflict resolution. Their approach will especially help those in ongoing relationships and communities.
Peace Skills Set: Manual for Community Mediators; Leaders’ Guide (Book)
Ronald S. Kraybill, Robert A. Evans, Alice Frazer Evans, Authors.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2001.
The Peace Skills Manual for Community Mediators and the accompanying Leaders’ Guide provide the background, structure, and resources for both learning about conflict transformation and acquiring conflict mediation skills.
 Peacemaking Without Division (Web Resource)
Peacemaking Without Division—based on a workshop conducted in many congregations—provides models and tools for exploring issues of peace and conflict on the personal, interpersonal, community, and global levels.
Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems (Book)
Barry Johnson, Author.
Amherst, MA: Human Resource Development Press, 1997.
Leaders will find in this book an essential skill (including relevant case studies and applications) in problem solving fine-tuned by recognizing problems that are dynamic polarities.
The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes (Book)
William L. Ury, Author.
New York, NY: Bantam, 2007.
William Ury's "positive no" process includes saying "yes" to our vital choices, saying "no" to what does not support those choices, and inviting others to support our choices in ways that preserve the relationship.
Resolving Identity-Based Conflict in Nations, Organizations, and Communities (Book)
Jay Rothman, Author.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1997.
From Jay Rothman's years of professional mediation comes his synthesized approach to serious conflicts grounded in group identities and inadequate, inaccurate communications.
Stilling the Storm: Worship and Congregational Leadership in Difficult Times (Book)
Kathleen S. Smith, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2006.
This book shows how difficult times affect the worship life of a congregation, how worship can be a key part of the congregation's healing process, and how church leaders can tailor worship to the particular congregational difficulties.
Welcoming Resistance: A Path to Faithful Ministry (Book)
William C. Hobgood, Author.
Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2001.
Exploring the types, bases, and processes of change, Welcoming Resistance encourages readers to understand resistance in a congregation's mission-focused work.
When Push Comes to Shove: A Practical Guide to Mediating Disputes (Book)
Karl A. Slaikeu, Author.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1995.
Karl Slaikeu has written a meticulous practical reference for pastors, middle judicatory leaders, educators, counselors, and others involved in settling disputes.
Why Forgive? (Book)
Johann Christoph Arnold, Author.
Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2005.
Forgiveness is a much easier concept to discuss in abstract than to live in the reality of our broken world. Johann Christoph Arnold offers a discussion of many different aspects of forgiveness, all rooted in the real-life stories of people.
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