Staying with Conflict: A Strategic Approach to Ongoing Disputes (Book)
Bernard Mayer, Author.  San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2009.

In Staying with Conflict Bernard Mayer demonstrates how, in the case of long-term disputes, it is often necessary to help the disputing parties understand that they will not resolve their differences quickly, and to train them knowing how to engage constructively around their differences.

Mayer begins by exploring the challenges enduring conflict presents as well as the opportunities it affords. He then discusses the nature of long-term conflicts and introduces the concept of "creative nonresolution," wherein disputants can continue to disagree while maintaining respect for the other party.

Identifying conflict avoidance as the largest barrier to constructive engagement, Mayer next discusses why and how people avoid conflict, and how to help people counter these tendencies. He then outlines ways to help disputants frame their conflict constructively and how to replace dysfunctional communication patterns with sustainable approaches that will endure throughout the ups and downs of the dispute.

Mayer also stresses the importance of using and responding to power wisely, exploring when upping the level of conflict can be helpful, how to negotiate and problem solve in the long-term dispute context, and how to develop support systems that can sustain and energize individuals for the duration of the conflict.

Throughout the book Mayer offers illustrative stories from a wide variety of conflict situations ranging from the interpersonal to the international. This book would be helpful both to those involved in protracted conflicts and the people helping to facilitate in these situations.

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